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6 Secrets to a lasting relationship

Once you’ve found the love of your life, you may begin to wonder how to keep the passion alive.

If you desire to strengthen your love, there are a few steps you can take to keep your relationship fresh.

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A lasting relationship is based on trust, communication, companionship, and attraction. It’s about being able to communicate when you are angry and upset, trusting your partner in decisions that you make together, being able to be companions to each other (while having other interests and friends) and staying attractive by taking care of yourself.

Here are some secrets to developing a strong relationship that will last the test of time.

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• Keep eyes out of the picture: Do your best not to mention past loves. This is a quick way to dampen the passion and possibly dig up some insecurities and resentment.

You must not talk about exes unless the general topic comes up, and even then don’t talk negatively about an ex. There is a big difference between talking about who you’ve dated or the last time you dated and badmouthing the person or complaining about how bad it was. What impression do you think this leaves the other person?

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• Don’t ditch date night: Keep doing the things that attracted you to each other in the beginning. Don’t stop dating each other because you’ve gotten comfortable.

Date nights are important. It matters that you take time out for each other and spend time together as a couple. Do things together that just the two of you enjoyed when you were dating.

• Change your surroundings: Avoid falling into a relationship rut. Sometimes couples can fall into a comfortable pattern of doing the same things every day. It’s important to shake things up a bit and move out of your comfort zone every now and then.

New surroundings and getting away from routines is healthy and a great way to bond. We get into trouble when we put obligations and “reality” ahead of how we feel.

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• Be thoughtful: Continue to be nice to each other and to anticipate each other’s needs. Thoughtfulness can help a partner feel loved and nourished.

So personalise your date, let him or her know that you care and you pay attention to their life. You don’t have to give a grand gesture, as long as it is from the heart and memorable.

• Don’t expect your partner to read your mind: One potential cause of friction in a relationship is expecting your partner to be able to act a certain way or do certain things without you having to ask. This is unrealistic and dangerous to the health of your relationship. Your partner is not a mind-reader.

There’s a lot of things that we say inside our own heads during a relationship. Sometimes it’s something good. Sometimes it’s not so great.

If you are thinking it, say it. Missing the opportunity to say the good things can make your partner feel under-appreciated, and each time you miss the opportunity to deal with the bad things, you just add another brick in the wall that is growing between you.

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• Work on yourself: It will be hard to have a strong, healthy relationship if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself. It’s vital to work on accepting yourself before you put your energy into nurturing a relationship:

The secret to a lasting relationship is always making your primary relationship the one with yourself. Meaning, you cannot hold your partner to conditions where they are required to behave in a certain way to make you happy.

You must find a way to create happiness for yourself then love them from a happy, solid, grounded place.

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